Matporr – porr om mat
gamko:

Oh, no, of course, you’re right. My mistake.

gamko:

Oh, no, of course, you’re right. My mistake.

tristamateer:

Share words with me while I’m visiting Colorado!

Amygdala. Discombobulate. Molybdenum. Ishkabibble.

seti-fan:

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

Amazing.

When I haven’t been kissed in a long time, I create civil disturbances, then insult the cops who show up, till one of them grabs me by the collar and hurls me up against the squad car, so I can remember, at least for a moment, what it’s like to be touched.
Jeffrey McDaniel (via girlshapedguitar)

unfollowfriday:

when you and your buddy are low on potassium

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uaramchek:

There was only one machine left in that derelict arcade. It was an old-fashioned Pac-Man cabinet, the sort that looked as though it could have been the sarcophagus of a television god. For some reason, it was still plugged in, and Mondrianesque glitches flickered across the screen. There was a…

abbygubler:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

the fuck kind of romeo and juliet is this 

axmxz:

verysmalldeer:

nevecampbell:

I just wanna s*** some d***

HOW MANY DOGS ARE YOU LOOKING TO SELL

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thatshinyobject:

kingsleyyy:

2015 is only 5 months away, just let that sink in

What the fuck does the sink want now