Matporr – porr om mat

bleachdalilah:

thtwhitegurrl:

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?

PLEASE EXPLAIN

ryannorth:

davidmalki:

I was at the library over the weekend, and they have all kinds of crazy books there! I was browsing the ‘eroticized autobiography’ section, hoping to find some inspiration, when I came across THIS book by RYAN NORTH.
Inside the front cover, the dedication starts right up with an indication of what’s to come:

This book is shouted from the rooftops at all the haters, all the squares, all the sugar-pushers, all the downtown cruisers, all the eagle-boys, all the late-night mamas, all the daddies with their packs on, all the servers, all the waiters, all the rack babies, all the dollar hustlers, all the soda jerkoffs, all the brownstains, all the bronyboys, all the nerdlovers, all the sandy wigglers, and all the 3am jonesin’ candyattic crashers who made this ride as real as it got.

I think that last bit is a reference to Joey Comeau but as for the rest ???
I wanted to check it out and read more but it was ‘REFERENCE ONLY’ and also it was really, like, sticky? That may have just been my library’s copy BUT in the colophon it also says:

Titles set in Ostrich Sans
Text set in Curlz MT
Coated in Rio Grande sticky wax
Each copy kissed by the author or his representative

I’ve already got ENOUGH copies of stuff kissed by Ryan or his representative so I said NO THANK YOU
[ BOOKWAR ]

All I will say in response to this UNADULTERATED SASS is:
man it figures that Malki would stand up for both the daddies with their packs on AND the sandy wigglers, no surprise there
Rio Grande sticky wax is a great deal, especially in bulk
Curlz MT is beautiful and I’m so sorry you can’t see that David Malki and I know you probably think you’re SO COOL by saying you hate it just like you hate Comic Sans just like everyone else (CONFORM MUCH??) but I bet you couldn’t tell me why you hate it just that the LAMEstream Media told you to and yeah I bet you’ve got opinions about Papyrus too, BIG surprise there, but maybe next time before opening your mouth you open your EYES to how beautiful type can be??
For example an old poem got finally FULLY REALIZED here thanks to a little thing called me and another little other thing called oh I don’t know CURLZ MT:

I rest my case
[bookwar]

ryannorth:

davidmalki:

I was at the library over the weekend, and they have all kinds of crazy books there! I was browsing the ‘eroticized autobiography’ section, hoping to find some inspiration, when I came across THIS book by RYAN NORTH.

Inside the front cover, the dedication starts right up with an indication of what’s to come:

This book is shouted from the rooftops at all the haters, all the squares, all the sugar-pushers, all the downtown cruisers, all the eagle-boys, all the late-night mamas, all the daddies with their packs on, all the servers, all the waiters, all the rack babies, all the dollar hustlers, all the soda jerkoffs, all the brownstains, all the bronyboys, all the nerdlovers, all the sandy wigglers, and all the 3am jonesin’ candyattic crashers who made this ride as real as it got.

I think that last bit is a reference to Joey Comeau but as for the rest ???

I wanted to check it out and read more but it was ‘REFERENCE ONLY’ and also it was really, like, sticky? That may have just been my library’s copy BUT in the colophon it also says:

Titles set in Ostrich Sans

Text set in Curlz MT

Coated in Rio Grande sticky wax

Each copy kissed by the author or his representative

I’ve already got ENOUGH copies of stuff kissed by Ryan or his representative so I said NO THANK YOU

[ BOOKWAR ]

All I will say in response to this UNADULTERATED SASS is:

  1. man it figures that Malki would stand up for both the daddies with their packs on AND the sandy wigglers, no surprise there
  2. Rio Grande sticky wax is a great deal, especially in bulk
  3. Curlz MT is beautiful and I’m so sorry you can’t see that David Malki and I know you probably think you’re SO COOL by saying you hate it just like you hate Comic Sans just like everyone else (CONFORM MUCH??) but I bet you couldn’t tell me why you hate it just that the LAMEstream Media told you to and yeah I bet you’ve got opinions about Papyrus too, BIG surprise there, but maybe next time before opening your mouth you open your EYES to how beautiful type can be??
  4. For example an old poem got finally FULLY REALIZED here thanks to a little thing called me and another little other thing called oh I don’t know CURLZ MT:
  5. I rest my case

[bookwar]

wollipyos:

Where do YOU fall on the gender spectrum?

wollipyos:

Where do YOU fall on the gender spectrum?

thetrifrmphm:

snorl4x:

how long will it burn if it isn’t an emergency???????

#what does the crayon define as an emergency

thetrifrmphm:

snorl4x:

how long will it burn if it isn’t an emergency???????

fruitcrocs:

giving your first blowjob like 

image

dependsoncontext:

fuking-homestuck:

j-z-millier:

louxisalhama:

spaceisforlovers:

jethroq:

danadelions:

ja ja ja ja ja
a spanish person laughing or a german person during sex???

you decide

Finnish person struggling to remember what they were about to say next

polish person trying to get themself noticed

portuguese person trying to hush other people

Chinese person trying to do calculations

swedish person wanting to get out of a conversation

Language is beautiful
nudityandnerdery:

gaycrime:

wow The Onion is dropping a lot of truth for a work of satire


That’s what good satire is supposed to do. Not this “I’m going to lie, lol satire!!!” bullshit.

nudityandnerdery:

gaycrime:

wow The Onion is dropping a lot of truth for a work of satire

That’s what good satire is supposed to do. Not this “I’m going to lie, lol satire!!!” bullshit.

taywad:

carpe diem is an anagram for creampied

brainstatic:

This is the English word I want to get tattooed on my wrist. It means “to keep breathing even though the water rises all around you.” English is such a mystical exotic language. They can fit so much meaning into so small a word.

brainstatic:

This is the English word I want to get tattooed on my wrist. It means “to keep breathing even though the water rises all around you.” English is such a mystical exotic language. They can fit so much meaning into so small a word.